Manchester recruitment

November 18th, 2011

This employing-people lark is actually quite difficult, I’ve found – even though I’m just after a work experience person!

When I started advertising, I needed to give a job title and description. It’s quite tricky to come up with those and get the right message across, without attracting the wrong kind of people.

I’ve so far used ‘Entrepreneurial Apprentice’ as the title, as I feel it encompasses everything – I’m an entrepreneur and I want an apprentice to whom to teach the ways of successful business. And do my admin and gopher tasks, obviously, now that Anya’s become too high and mighty to do them.

Some of the applications I’ve received have been awful, though. Really, really shocking. Do they not teach basic English skills in schools any more? Apparently not. Lesson one to all jobhunters out there: Either learn to spell and construct proper sentences, or ask someone to check your CV and letters for you before you send them. There are loads of internet services doing that kind of thing. In fact, it makes me think about another string I may add to my bow! There are lots of business-related skills I can advise people on… for a small fee, of course. Haha!

But getting back to the point… yes, the most time-consuming part of hunting for a new employee is filtering through the rubbish applications.

After that, it’s interviews – and that’s a whole new world of stress. I’m in the middle of it now. I invited the first one to our apartment to talk to… and dear me, that was a mistake. He was a complete weirdo. I felt a bit uncomfortable having him in our home, despite the fact I’d clearly have beaten him in any kind of physical confrontation, now I’m sharing Angie’s gym membership.

But yes, I feel it’s better to conduct these things in nearby bars that I like – and that’s not too much of a problem in the Northern Quarter. I don’t want to give them too much of an impression that it’ll be all fun and no work, but it’s good for them to see what kind of guy I am – that just because I’m not a teenager any more, it doesn’t mean I’m not still ‘with it’.

Let’s hope the right person comes along soon…

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Office decisions

November 14th, 2011

It’s official: I’m going to keep working from our apartment. It’s in a pretty good location and, to be honest, I haven’t been all that impressed with the office space I’ve looked at. It’s all overpriced and doesn’t have the right style about it.

If I have my own office – really my own, not just a rented space – I can make sure it has the Gary Vine vibe. Then when people come to see me it’ll help them to understand what I’m all about. It’s nice and quiet, too, with Anya busy with this ‘career’ of hers, as she’s started calling it. I don’t mind letting her enjoy it for a while, providing she stops messing about and comes back when my business gets bigger.

On that note, I’m looking at hiring a new member of staff. And not just staff – but an apprentice of sorts. I’ve always thought I have a talent for education that I should use. I’m a natural mentor. The youth of today can learn a lot from me. And work experience people are cheap! Haha. I’ll help the lucky chosen one with expenses, but they shouldn’t need any, really – we can eat at home in the flat. At work, I mean. In the office.

I’m advertising online and at the JobCentre. Once they start, I’ll try to teach them the administration stuff first, so we’re all ready for when the phone calls and emails start rolling in. Actually, I might ask Anya if she can show him a few things one evening after work.

I need to set up quite a lot of things, so it’ll be good to have another pair of hands on deck. Things like small business indemnity insurance are easily overlooked and that can lead to problems, according to Anya, so I suppose I should check it out.

Exciting times!

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Weird change

November 10th, 2011

I’m going to throw you a bit of a curveball here. Yeah, that’s kind of my style anyway – but usually more in a business sense.

Things have changed with Anya. I think she’s my girlfriend. We’ve had a few nice nights out recently and things just sort-of happened. She’s been looking really good since we came back to Manchester and I think we both realised that as we live together anyway, it’s pretty convenient. Having a relationship is good for business, too – nothing looks sadder than a man who turns up to networking events without a reasonable female on his arm.

I think Anya is pleased to have found herself in a couple. She hasn’t come to her senses about the work side of things just yet, as she still thinks she’s happy in this new job, but I’m sure that’ll change with time. There’s still a while to go until Christmas.

Now she’s my girlfriend (I think), we can use the spare room of her flat as a proper office instead of having two bedrooms. Well, I can use it, I mean, until she comes back to work with me. I can still run my business without her, of course, but I like the way she used to manage my diary and give me reminders of things (most of the time). Though I suppose now I can convince her to do that because we’re a couple, instead! Haha.

I’m not sure about the amount of time she seems to spend at work, though. She comes home late sometimes and says it’s because she’s had important stuff to finish. Surely they can’t be giving her anything THAT important to do. I’ll have to make sure I keep her in check over things like that. If she’s late all the time, who’ll cook?

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The boy is back in town

November 4th, 2011

Now, if you read my last post, which discussed my search for a new Anya, this may come as a surprise – though perhaps less so for those of you loyal readers who know that taking decisive action is an integral part of my nature.

I have chosen to be the bigger person and take Anya back into my life. I have also moved back to the glorious city of Manchester. It’s handy that Anya has a good-sized flat – I managed to convince her to let me move into her spare room to relaunch things. Before moving back, I visited to scope out my options and bought some cocktails for her in Cloud 23 to celebrate my planned return. It only took a few hours for her to agree. She looked surprisingly nice, actually – I think seeing me gave her a bit of a glow.

So, anyway, how did this happen? As I had a long think and talked to Mum and Dad about my skills and experience, I realised that as the country struggles out of recession, I was wasting my time in Bournemouth while Manchester should be benefiting from the wealth of know-how offered by Gary Vine Associates. Having worked at both ends of the UK (not just Bournemouth, remember, but London too) and also internationally (Vegas, US), I can offer real diversity in my advice that northern business people find refreshing.

I’m really excited about it, too – more than I have been about anything in ages.

I think Anya might take a while to come around completely, though. She thinks she’s got a great new job, but deep down she knows it won’t square up to working with me. Once you’ve worked the Gary Vine way, there’s no going back. I think that’s why she’s got a flat near the Northern Quarter – it reminds her of me. I give it until Christmas before she’s back doing my filing.

Of course, I’m not being too vocal about it, because, you know… when you rekindle things with someone, the best strategy is to take it slowly and give them the impression they’re right for a while. Even if they’re not. It takes real strength of character. That’s the kind of advice I like to offer my clients.

At the moment, most of my energy is focused on finding the right style of office space to attract attention from the right sort of people. Of course there are many people who would benefit from my advice, but I don’t want to encourage time-wasters – and believe me, the wrong business address can do that.

So, onwards and upwards, folks! Gary Vine is back in Manchester and loving it.

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New Anya

October 22nd, 2011

A new Anya – yes you did hear that right – I’m trying to start a-new so need a-new Anya. I’m sure I could write a poem about it… but I won’t! It all makes sense now, all my job prospects in Manchester were shaped and affected by Anya. As much as I saw her as helping me, working for me, she also held me back – because I took her into consideration the whole time. This time I just need to find someone who’s not so stupid and that way I might actually get somewhere. She wasn’t the cleverest of souls poor thing always coming out with corkers like ‘how long is a piece of string?’ and ‘why do I need to do all this filing for you, when it’s just adverts you’ve been sent in the post’. But anyway, enough about her she’s out of my life for good. Even if she came crawling back on her knees begging and banging on my parent’s door, I’d send her back to Manchester with her catty tail between her legs.

I think I’ve found my new Anya – or at least a possible Anya. Yesterday I went for what has now become my weekly Saturday trip to Poole Park. I go and walk around the grounds, look at the boats and if Dad comes with me maybe play a game of tennis or ride on the silly train. This morning it was actually quite chilly so I went to the place where I normally get an ice-cream, to get a hot chocolate and there was this lovely woman serving. I was a bit shocked so used my charm to ask her whether she’d been working long as I’d not seen her before. She said she owned the hut and once a month took a day to work there, just to get to know her staff better. Wow a business woman, who must have read Lord Sugar’s autobiography too.

I was a bit nervous that time to ask anymore, but I need to get her number or ask her on a date! Maybe next Saturday!

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Holiday Heatwave

October 19th, 2011

Well the holiday’s been and gone and boy was it a ‘gooden’, just what I needed. Magically it fell on the weekend when there was an amazing heatwave. I spent most of the time on the beach just sunning myself. Even though I’d planned to explore the Island loads and find out what this ‘Isle of White’ was all about, I hardly went anywhere.

The lady at the Hotel – she was so lovely, a nice old woman who clearly loved the area and was trying all her best sales techniques to get me to come back – obviously I knew what she was trying, so just congratulated her for her efforts, but she didn’t need to try so hard – the weather made it sell itself. On her recommendation I went to this beach called Shanklin beach and hired a deck chair, I’d taken a few of my books down so I just sat in the sun and read for hours. Reminded me of a joke though ‘What’s black and white and red all over, a newspaper’ Well by by the end it wasn’t just the books that were red, I was red all over – sunburn o’clock. Back to the hotel for an aloe vera soaked bath that evening!

Another day I went to Blackgang Chine which is like a waterpark/themepark/attractions thing. Not quite as good as Alton Towers but it was fine – pretty cringe that I was alone though – didn’t manage to find myself a new Anya yet either unfortunately. This was the only bad point about the whole trip really. Made me realise just how much I miss having female company, I know I’ve got my mum near by now, but she doesn’t count – she’s not really a woman, more like an old man with a wig on. Still don’t know what I’m going to do with this business without finding another Anya – the trip made me realise I must up the hunt, so that’s what I shall do!

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Holiday Reading

September 26th, 2011

Although I will have a few ‘chill out’ days while I’m away, holidays are always a good chance to catch up on some good old reading and there’s lot of books I’ve been meaning to read for ages. So a trip down to Waterstone’s tomorrow is definitely in order.

James Smith reads Lord Stern’s ‘The Economics of Climate Change’ so I think maybe I’d learn a thing or two from this. Freakanomics by Levitt and Dubner is also another one that will help me understand money a bit more.

But I don’t think being a good business man is all about understanding money. That’s what Sir Alan, or should I say Lord Sugar, always says – he didn’t have a good degree or study economics, he just worked hard and kept at it. I still think I need to pop down to Waterstone’s though. Because, even if I never read the books, once I set up my new office and I have people coming to visit, I want people to think I understand things like the economy, politics, nlp – stuff that sounds intellectual.

I’m going to buy all the Dragon’s autobiographies so that people know that’s who I take my inspiration from and will think I’m as good as them. It’ll intimidate them and then I’ll win all the deals. I won’t be able to read all of them whilst I’m away so they will just sit on the shelf. I might not even bother taking them to be honest as books are quite heavy. But at least Waterstone’s have a good loyalty system so I’ll get some points as well furnishing for my new office.

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Poole Park

September 22nd, 2011

Another one of Dad’s ‘fun days out’. Back to Poole Park again. Last time we just played tennis for ten minutes before Dad passed out and had to go home, but this time we actually got to explore a bit further. It is actually quite a nice little park, well kept grass with lovely flowers – you don’t see anything like that up North.

In the park there’s a lot to do too. There’s a lake where you can sail remote controlled boats, or a bigger lake where you can rent out boats and of course the tennis courts. There were lots of kids sports activities going on too – I guess that’s because it was still the summer holidays when we went. Children were everywhere running around, riding bikes.

Another funny thing they’ve got there, and although I pretended to Dad that it was the lamest thing ever – it was actually quite fun. It was a model railway, but one that you can actually go on. You sit on the railway train and it takes you around this little track that goes round the whole park. The children absolutely loved it. We had to pay a few pounds to go on it thought – it wasn’t cheap. It got me thinking, I wonder how much the set up costs are for such a business. Maybe I’ll put one in Mum and Dad’s garden and then charge people to go on it. Obviously this Poole Park will be my major competition, so I just need to think of a USP…

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Sightseeing on the white isle

September 21st, 2011

In preparation for my trip to the Isle of White I thought I’d look at some things to do whilst I’m there. I know I’m meant to just be thinking, and contemplating life and my whole existence but I think that might get a bit tiresome and it could be good to do something fun whilst I’m there as well (I just won’t tell Dad). Looking online there’s actually a lot going on in the Isle of White. Yes it’s no Deansgate again but I think maybe until Anya’s back I need to move away from thinking it’s all about the city.

Beaches are nice after all – not so much when it’s windy, as when the sand hits your face it’s quite painful, but Mum said it’s good exfoliation for the skin (can’t believe I’m taking beauty advice from my mother) what has happened to me since Manchester? Anyway, top attractions on the white isle according to the internet include:

Newport Owl and Monkey Haven. Owls are pretty boring, but monkeys – now that’s where the money is. Monkey’s are hilarious have you ever seen ‘monkey business’ – my kind of TV. Anyway, I’m definitely going to go here, I just really hope they let you hold the Monkeys – it’ll be rubbish otherwise.

Ventnor Botanical Gardens – sounds rubbish.

Carisbrooke Castle – Charles 1 spent his last year there before he was executed apparently. I’m not sure how they can prove this but it sounds like it could be interesting so I might give this a look. When I get there though I’m going to ask the hotelier where he recommends going, think I’ll get the best advice that way!

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Amusement

September 20th, 2011

Mum and Dad keep inviting me out on little day trips. I think they’re trying to convince me that BOREmouth isn’t all that bad – they’re doing a pretty poor job of it. I think maybe they feel bad for me too, because I had to leave my really exciting life in the city to spend more time with them, and look after them down here. The latest day trip was to Swanage.

We went on this stupid ferry thing that went so slowly and was on chains and then after an annoyingly long drive we arrived at this tiny sea-side town. In typical English style it was raining. I was so angry – why did we bother coming to the beach just for it to rain. But Dad suggested we play in the amusements instead. I’m not a kid I said – but secretly I was excited. I love those penny machines. After fuelling my penny gambling addiction I noticed a strange looking machine with metal hand plates. It said it was a tarot fortune machine. Ever the suspicious type I put my coin in and placed my hands on the metal plates.

A wheel span on the screen frantically and my hands where beginning to feel warm and then a piece of paper dropped from the machine, it read ‘look forward to sea your fortune’ I looked up and there was the beach staring at me out of the window. I think it was telling me to stay in boring Bournemouth – that’s where the money is. People love the beach, so I sat with my candy floss and stick of rock on the way home thinking about how I could make money in this town.

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