Dragon’s Den is back on the air! Get in! Back of a net! I enjoy nothing better than coming home after a hard day’s work, kicking off my shoes, telling Lucy to spend the night at her mum’s and cracking off a cold bottle watching Dragon’s Den. I can honestly say it’s the best programme about inventions since any feminist documentary ever!
Only joking, ladies! Lucy’s into all that stuff, but I don’t really understand it personally. Why burn a bra? Why not just wear it or, even better, recycle it? Feminists obviously don’t care too much about the environment…
Two people who do care about the planet are my boys Duncan Bannatyne and Peter Jones. They invested £65,000 in a dairy-free alternative to ice cream, which proves their humanitarian side I think.
Straight away, I was on the phone to Anya and told her to get going on the latest idea for Gary Vine Associates – dairy-free cows. Think about it, if we can somehow breed cows that give out dairy-free milk, we cut out the middle-man and can make a fortune with … Dairy-free leather jackets. You heard it here first.
Other than that it was another enjoyable episode. I particularly liked Bannatyne’s shirt, which just screamed ‘BUSINESS’. My shirts don’t scream that, although I do have some electronic business cards from a long-forgotten venture which do literally scream “BUSINESS!”. They were huge among the partially-sighted, and if it wasn’t for that lawsuit from the Japanese I’d be living on a yacht somewhere drinking Pimms with Mel Gibson. R.I.P. Shake ‘n’ Shout!.
The rest of my weekend was spent, as you may have guessed by my jovial tone today, playing and winning at the online casino. I have a new strategy which involves me ringing up Anya in the middle of the night and asking for a roulette number. She shouts religious-sounding stuff in her crazy foreign language for a bit, then hits me with a winner. I really struck gold with that girl.
Ciao!
