Probably the best thing about starting a new business is looking through the CVs of idiots. For those not up to speed with my fast-paced life (VROOM VROOM hope on in, cowboy! Uh-oh too slow! I’m already driving to BusinessTown!), I’m basically looking for a PA to personally assist my business needs. To this end, I’ve already purchased a Polycom SoundStation 2 so I can ask her for a coffee without having to leave my desk. Coffee is the oil that oils business, and I’m one slick guy.
Some of the CVs I’ve received so far have been absolutely class. We’re talking Grade A Dom Joly 1997. Firstly, half of them are from men. WTF? One in particular is from a graduate who’s just done a degree in ‘Business Studies’ (WTF 2).
Hey, buddy, you don’t learn business in a classroom – you learn it on the streets, and by being in business. I am in business. Ergo.
Another CV I got was from a girl with a Maths degree. She has a great background and seems acceptable but how can I ask someone in for an interview if I haven’t even seen a picture of her? I might need to adjust the Gumtree advert, actually. Hey, if you know anybody, let me know below.
I’m already thinking of taking the recruitment process in-house, either by employing Lucy or best friend Gazzo. I don’t know which one to approach first. It would be good to give Gazzo a wage as he’s been unemployed since uni, but if I employed Lucy full-time I know I’d get away with paying her nothing. Swings and roundabouts, eh?
This week I’ve started to look at offices. My five-year business plan tells me that June should be dedicated to ‘finding a space, and making it your own’. Once I’ve got my own office set up, and a PA to make me coffee, there is no way my Gary Vine’s Advice Centre can fail.
It’s good to live in a Britain of opportunity. Thank you, Mr Cameron.
