Gary Vine Associates

Looking for a new solicitor is proving to be hard work. I don’t so much need someone who understands business news as much as I need someone who understands how I work, you know? Vine’s Law. He needs to understand why (if not ‘how’) I can write a two-page business report while doing 500 squats (simple: balance).

You see, the thing with a lot of these ’straight-down-the-line’ business types is that they don’t know how to bend the rules to fit the mould outside the box, you know? I like to take three-hour lunches (11am until 2pm) because it helps me relax my mind and eat. I also go home at 4pm and take my work home with me. I need someone who understands that this means I’m taking second lunch and won’t be home until at least 8pm.

Similarly, I need someone who will call Lucy for me from the office when I’m too tired to even speak from all the business I’ve been doing. I can’t get Anya to do everything!

The office is coming along nicely, in that Anya is constantly looking at office listings and putting rings around the ones she thinks I’d like. She’s a really hard worker and last night I generously offered her our floor rather than have her go back home. It was 11pm, and you should’ve seen Lucy’s face when I told her in bed later on! She is always so amazed by my generosity!

Any place we end up renting (buying is for squares!) will need to be air-conditioned and have a leased line installed so I can stick on YouTube whenever the workload is getting too much. Actually there’s a thought – an e-mail advice service where we advise people to forget about their life problems by sending them a YouTube clip to watch!
Always thinking!

I’ve been thinking a lot about business – who is it, what is it, and why? Perhaps we’re all businesses…

My dream for many years has been to become a businessman; Wake up in the morning, have a cappuccino, do some business, go home. Done. But what kind of business? Obviously, I’m a big international deal in the online casino sphere, and I’ve got good rapport with regular people. With this in mind, I’m thinking of opening an ‘Advice Centre’ for people who need some direction. I’ve already put together a five-point business plan:

1. Open business
2. Try really hard
3. Buy coffee machine
4. Have a good Christmas party
5. Keeping doing business

To finance my venture, I’ll have to use all of the savings me and Lucy have leftover from her father’s death, but she’ll be cool with it. In fact, I’m thinking of making her a ’silent partner’ and giving her a 7% stake in the company for her birthday. Always thinking…

I’ve also been thinking about catchphrases and slogans for advertising, and here’s what I have so far:

• Gary Vine Associates: “Problem? Not!” (accompanied by a picture of me in a sharp suit)
• Gary Vine Associates: “Listen.” (close up of an average ear)
• Gary Vine Associates: “We’ve tried really hard.” (funny picture of a cat on a washing line)
• Gary Vince Associates: “Come on!!!!” (England flag-related)
• Gary Vine Associates: “We’re on Twitter.” (Picture of an important person. Cameron???)

I’m going to start interviewing for an assistant next week. I need someone young and fresh, so if you have any ideas feel free to leave a comment below. Otherwise, I’ll just get Lucy to do it during her lunch breaks.

After an assistant, I’m going to need an office and a work computer with two monitors to go with it. I’ll also need a coffee cup holder that says: “Respect me. I am a business man.”

Busy times ahead – but it’s good to be doing something!

Not a bad way to live, eh? Think I might start my own business and take him on!

Nice to see Mr Sun put his hat on and join us all for a play in London! Spent the afternoon in a beer garden in Bethnall Green with the lads, playing the quiz machines and having a laugh really. Dropped a rick by forgetting to meet Lucy, but it’s easy to get carried away with these things, isn’t it?

When I got back home Lucy had booked a holiday for her and her mum and sister to the Algarve. Result! This gives me the flat for two weeks during the World Cup. I don’t even like football, but that’s brilliant news. We’ll have a few beers in the flat, watch a couple of episodes of HBO’s Madmen, and then stick Match of the Day on. Good times! FACT!

Still not found a job yet, so still letting the online bingo pay the bills, but I have set up a Google alert system so that any new jobs in the ‘online blackjack sector’ come up straight away. I’m doing all I can really. My mate Gazzo works as a recruitment consultant and I reckon he could get me a job in that area in five/six weeks – tops.

I’ve also considered trying to get a job at Lucy’s doctor’s surgery. That way, we can spend all of our time together during the day and then we’d both be free to do whatever we wanted at night. A great way to live, I think, and a very thoughtful idea. Also, we’d save on bus fare as we’d both be in the car, and I’d be able to get a check-up whenever I want! I’ll give them a call tomorrow.

Well, back out to enjoy the sun. I’m going to miss dinner so I’ve been a gent and left a ready meal in the fridge for Lucy. Hope she doesn’t mind me eating her steak (she won’t – she loves me).

Ciao!