Archive for the ‘Films’ Category

The story of Fakebook

Tuesday, January 25th, 2011

Last night me and Anya sat down in front of the TV (I make her sit backwards so she can only listen – helps her with the language) to watch The Social Network. She didn’t understand the film, as usual, and then started being childish by speaking in her language on purpose (“mise-en-scene”, “auteur”) so it looks like she’ll be sitting backwards for a lot longer!

Anyway -> Wow! Watching the film of Mark Zuckerberg’s life was like looking into a human mirror (TV) showing my life, which is in real life mirroring the life of Mark Zuckerberg, whose life is being mirrored in the film. Like this:

And then I got a coffee.

Now that I have the @GaryVine Twitter account I barely use Facebook. Back in the day I was THE DON of Facebook, and completed it in a matter of weeks. I had all the applications, all the events and all the women on it as friends. Great times. But then one day I said to my friend Mickey Rimmer: “Facebook?! More like FAKEbook!” And then before I knew it, he’d done this – Fakebook.

He’d ripped me off. A whole social network parody he’d stolen from my one remark. If you look at the code you can quite clearly see the shirt off my back he also took. As I browsed the profile, event and fan pages he’d clearly taken from that one pun I’d made, I felt sick. I tried to take him to court, but no lawyer would take the Vine-Rim Job.

Sure, I bounced back; I’ve got The Fifth Quarter flat, the massive bank loan, the foreign girlfriend, the business, but on that day I lost a friend. And I hope that the fact Fakebook hasn’t been updated in nearly two years means that he is dead.

Ciao!

Moving

Friday, October 29th, 2010

Current mood: bipolar

Boomtime has arrived for Gary Vine since the last blog I posted. I have found somewhere to live in Manchester, right in the centre of The Fifth Quarter near all the top Manchester bars, where the sun always shines and new commodities are just a phone call to dad away!

Anya is excited about the move because it means she will be able to meet lots of women who talk about baking all the time, which is a plus as it will get her out of the flat when I’m trying to work.

Business is booming, or at least it will do when we open shop next year. We have a new slogan: “GiVing Manchester advice for years since 2010.” Couple this with Vinefest, my networking event in lower case, and 2011 is going to be a pretty busy year.

So, seeing as 2011 is going to be so busy I thought I may as well take the rest of 2010 off! To help me while away the hours, I’ve invested in a ‘Blue Ray’ DVD recorder and a lovely new trilby, which I will wear during undercover stings in the Fifth Quarter. The Blue Ray player is amazing. Take a look at this shot from the Blue Ray version of The Football Factory:

Pretty sweet, eh? Now what does that look like on a normal DVD player? Let’s have a look…

Awful! You can’t even see the poignancy of Danny Dyer’s performance, or his dodgy left eye.

Packing begins this week, and I’ve given Anya strict orders to keep my Banksy safe. That piece, signed by the man himself, will hang pride of place in my new ‘rec area’ (the space between the living room and front door) in the flat. Basically, I don’t want it to get rec’d! Eh?

Am I going to have a flat-warming party? Well we won’t know that many people in Manchester, but I’m sure as soon as we do we’ll knock back a few mojitos made from all that white rum I got Anya for her birthday (she doesn’t drink).

Right, I only have a few more creative hours left today (I’m creative between 12pm and 8pm every day) so I’ll get on with some more thought-papers.

Ciáo!

Electioneering the Jet Li way

Thursday, April 8th, 2010

Well chaps, an election’s been called. In with Cameron’s boys, I say. It’s time for a change as I’m sick of New Labour and its lies. Looks like the boy Dave’s got some promising policies up his rolled-up ‘n’ ready-for-business sleeves. I’ll be interested to see how he does.

Anyway, thought I’d do something a little different on this blog. I was playing a bit of online blackjack over the weekend and ended up stumbling across a trailer for the new Sylvester Stallone film The Expendables. If you’ve not seen it, it’s right here:

What a cast, looks fantastic. Arnie, Bruce, Sly and the unbeatable hard man Jet Li. I’ve been an admirer of Li since I caught one of his films during a business trip to the East. For my money he’s a better pound-for-pound screen fighter than Lee or Chan – controversial, I know, but I didn’t get where I am today by just towing the accepted line on everything.

So like I said I wanted to do something a bit different in the blog and bring you something with a bit of visual punch (excuse the pun – even though it’s a classic). For inspiration I looked to YouTube and without further ado I’d like to present to you my top three Jet Li films.

Top Three Jet Li Films

3. Unleashed

This film finally brought together Jet Li and Bob Hoskins – two of my favourite actors and two absolute classic blokes to boot. Alongside Morgan Freeman (March of the Penguins), this threesome starred in Unleashed, the story of a martial arts prodigy who is trained to behave like a dog. When he becomes free of his owner, a blind piano tuner helps him learn how to be human. Some top drawer fight scenes in this one.

2. The One

This is where Li really found form and new exposure. The premise of this one is that a person can become stronger by killing the alternate reality versions of himself. Again it’s a bit far-out but not as weird as a dog-man being trained by a blind piano tuner. Li teams up with Gabe Law for this movie, and it’s probably the picture (after Lethal Weapon 4) that really put him on the map in the US.

1. Black Mask

Black Mask was made in Hong Kong (this is where I first saw it during that business trip) and made its way over to these shores through sheer force. It’s basically the story of a supersoldier ala Captain America who finds himself turning against the system and having to fight his former allies who have begun committing violent crime once the military project has been shut down. Needless to say, this is one of Li’s best performances and shows why he trounces Bruce Lee pound-for-pound.

I’m off now, got some heavy meetings lined up for the rest of the day followed by dinner in the West End tonight. Catching up with some pals from Chelsea, should be a stunning evening. I’ll blog about what we get up to next week.

Until then, take care.

Regards,
Gaz